Also, rules of civil procedure can be strict about service of papers. For example, in Conn., original papers are filed with the clerk of the court and copies served to attorneys and pro se parties. If you fail to serve an attorney, but send it to the client, you could find a judge refusing to hear the matter when you appear in court due to improper service.
Some judges are lenient with pro se parties if they is no actual prejudice to the other side. The judge does not want to see the pro se taken advantage of by the attorney.
But, and there is a BUT, judge’s generally have little tolerance for the irrelevant or for whining, or for people who are being stubborn. They want to move their docket along.
The best way to deal with attorneys is to discuss each matter, issue by issue – keep focused only on the issue youare discussing and try to keep only to pertinent facts. The better prepared you appear to be to the judge, the more likely the judge will be to grant you some slack.